Clarity - It's Not Just for Diamonds!

When we go to the pool, or the lake, or even consider the crashing surf on the beach, it’s always that first step into the water – that first cold touch – that forces us to muster the gumption to follow through with it. I didn’t notice that with my steps into the Jordan. No freezing twinge, no quick touch with the big toe. I was just suddenly in, standing among the current and undertow, perfectly at ease with the water rushing around my ankles...my knees.

It’s about focus and where our eyes are set. Sure, I could be concerned with the current and the constantly shifting silt bed under my feet, challenging me to readjust my footing. However, even in these conditions, Christ has built a strong foundation and if we stand on that, regardless of circumstances, our focus can be where it needs to be: away from our problems and seeking God instead.

This week, I’ve been silent. I’ve been watching and listening. I’ve been pondering the ways of God. I’ve looked upon God’s glory with awe and praise and my heart grew heavy with the knowledge that there are many in this world who are lost and don’t look upon the same mysterious wonders with admiration for a Creator who loves them personally. It added to the dislocated heart God is developing within me and though it aches, it aches for God’s power to use me as His instrument. It’s an amazing thing, having a dislocated heart. Through quiet contemplation and self-examination, I’ve come to the conclusion that my life is pretty good. For the first time, I’m at a place of contentment – in the physical sense. My family and I have recently been blessed with a house that we are getting to know and become settled. The temperatures are finally starting to drop and seem much more pleasant. The relationship with my wife continues to blossom more beautifully than any flower and our kids are always a blessing (even in the time-out times). Yet I’m working on a dislocated heart.

God has transformed me in a very brief period of time and I am so grateful. As a kid, I would flip through the Sears catalog and circle all the things I wanted. Little did I know, that simple act would set a precedent in my life. I graduated to a broader scope of catalogs. My list grew longer (and more expensive). Before I knew it, I was standing in a lake brimming with 40 years of dreams and things I wanted – most of them I never attained. When I came to the banks of the Jordan, God told me I couldn’t take this stuff with me...I’d surely drown. To my utter surprise and delight, I wanted to cross that river so badly, I left all that stuff where it lay and took the step.

Freedom!

I realized that the more stuff we have, the more it blocks our vision of God. More importantly, it blocks God’s vision for our lives. The stuff, whether in possession of or aspiring to get, clutters our heart. So without the lists and the dreams, I have greater clarity. I’ve been able to see God and He is so beautiful!

  His work is out there, waiting to be accomplished.

                     For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He

                     may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.

                                                                                 - 2 Chronicles 16:9 (NASB)

The question is, do we have hearts that are completely His, or do they belong to temporal things that, in the end, mean nothing? When He passes by, will He see a willing servant or will there be a massive wall of junk blocking His view of us?

In knee deep, I already feel the water washing these things away and I am grateful. My life is a good one right now and although I might take a step that challenges my footing, my focus is on the Lord. I woke up this morning before my alarm, and from my heart I started singing How Great Thou Art. It was a wonderful time of praise and a great way to kick off the end of the work week.

Having greater focus reveals that God is everywhere – not that He hasn’t been – it just tends to remove those things that have limited our sight. He is in the purple of lavender fields and African violets. He is in the blue of the skies above and the depths of the sea. He is in the red that August burns.

My oldest son has lately been on my heart much more than normal. Forsaking his belief in the God of his father, he steps blindly into his own role of father. My attempts to reach him have, thus far, gone unheeded and I’ve had no choice but to lay him at God’s feet and trust the Lord with his care. God, so far, has chosen to reveal Himself in music. I’m not surprised by this, as we both have a great appreciation for music – one of the few ways in which we can communicate. Sometimes our definition of music is very different and this is one of those times. August Burns Red is a band whose music is heavier than any metal I’ve heard before. If it wasn’t for an awesome drumming core, it would be nothing more than noise to me. But to my son it is a symphony. Beyond the heavy guitar riffs and labored singing, the heart of their lyrics reveals the Gospel and our dependence on God.  Had I not received God’s grace through clarity, I probably would have argued this point until I was blue in the face. But the fact is, God is everywhere. His Message will come through whatever channel He chooses.

                          I'd like to thank Patrick, our worship leader, for unintentionally

                                leading me to August Burns Red.

As I go into the weekend, looking forward to time spent with my family, I continue to ask God to keep working on my dislocated heart. Whether it is with a prodigal son only a few miles away or with a lost generation in Norway, consumed by the Death Metal movement and Satanism, my dissatisfaction with the status quo needs to burn brightly and my passion to help them find their way to a Father that loves them deeply needs to burn even brighter.  

Focused Tunnel Vision

I remember it distinctly: opting to drive home after a Texas Rangers game in Arlington instead of staying with family, as offered. After a couple of hours, my vision fixated on the two narrow beams projected from my headlights. The eyes ached and grew heavy. I increased the air conditioning and turned up the radio and both seemed to help. But the vision narrowed again. My head bobbed here and there. And almost with finality, I suddenly realized my truck was bounding over rough terrain -- I had veered into the center median when I fell asleep behind the wheel.

My reflexes took over as I slammed on the brake pedal. My truck came to a skidding stop and I turned it off to collect myself. My heart thumped like thunder inside my chest. God was watching out for me that night...so many others with similar experiences were never able to write about them later!

Tunnel vision is a horrible thing, especially when applied to God's work. Too often our vision is fixed on ourselves. We try to do the will of God with our own energy and usually mess it up. Thus, the thing God has impressed upon me this week is this: 

              "Trust Me and get your focus off of yourself. I'll take what you already have,
                by My power and by My grace, and I will use you in ways that you can never
                even imagine."

I was reminded this week of a man I really admire. His name is Chris Spielman and he was an outstanding linebacker. He grew up in Ohio and played sandlot football with his older brothers. Even then, stories of his ferocity were legend. He was always smaller than most players in his position but Chris Spielman was always about heart. A second-string player, during one particular game in which they were losing, Chris paced back-and-forth behind the coach during the third quarter. "Send me in! Lemme play!" he would urge. With persistence, he got his wish.

Whether they won or lost I no longer remember, but his passion changed the course of the game. During the time remaining, he set a school record for most tackles in a single game and moved into a first string position. He became an All-American and was the first high-school player to be featured on a Wheaties box. Upon graduation, he moved his football savagery to the Ohio State University. As a Buckeye, he set numerous single-game and team records for tackles, assists, and quarter-back sacks. He was named an All-American twice, received the Lombardi Award in 1987 and was voted the season's MVP that same year. He was a fan favorite and simply embodied all that a history of Ohio State defensive football stood for. His devotion to training was no less impressive.

                                                   Spielman, #36, charged up during a game against Michigan.

He also had his detractors, notably Mel Kiper, Jr., an NFL draft "guru". Because of his size, scouts discounted his effectiveness in the NFL and as a result, he was picked 29th in the 2nd round of the draft. Chris and his big heart wound up in Detroit, where he immediately made a big impact.

As a Lion, Chris captained the defense. He was voted into the Pro Bowl four times and during his ten years there, his statistics were impressive: 10 sacks, 4 interceptions, 30 pass defenses, 13 forced fumbles, 17 fumble recoveries and he led the team in tackles for 7 consecutive years, including a single-season high of 195 (in '94). He was named defensive MVP of the Year in '93 and '94 and his career with Detroit ended with 1,138 tackles (which was also a record).

One of my favorite memories comes from the Thanksgiving Day game in 1994. The Dallas Cowboys had orchestrated a long drive to about the 5 yard line. Detroit had turned away each attempt at scoring until 3rd down, inside the 1. Aikman took the snap and immediately handed it off to a charging Emmitt Smith, who leapt over the entire line with amazing ability. Spielman had keyed in on Emmitt before the play began and, calling upon his own ability, also leapt over that line. They met in mid-air with a thunderous crash and Emmett was denied the score!

                                                   A fierce competitor, #54, Detroit Lions.

From there he moved to Buffalo and began setting records for the Bills, many of which were accomplished while recovering from a torn pectoral muscle. In 1997, however, he suffered a neck injury that required spinal surgery.  He resurfaced in 1999, back in Ohio, with the Cleveland Browns. Although he was impressive during preseason, another neck injury forced him into retirement before the regular season started.

Let me tell you...after all this...Chris had just made it to the bank of the Jordan!

During the time he was recovering from his neck injury in '97, his wife, Stefanie, was diagnosed with breast cancer. He took the '98 season off, not because of his own injuries, but because his focus was not on his career, but where it needed to be - on his wife and family.With the same ferocity he had displayed with football, Chris and his wife battled breast cancer and set up the Stefanie Spielman Breast Cancer Fund, which has topped $10 million in total contributions. In all, Stefanie fought through four bouts of cancer, succumbing to a fifth in 2009. Today, Chris Spielman continues her fight and has remained in football through broadcasting and coaching. He is also a sought-after inspirational speaker through which he tells his story -- their story -- and shares the strong faith he developed as God walked with him. This is where he's made the most impact with his life!

                                                                  Chris and Stefanie during the half-time of
                                                                  the Ohio State-Navy game, Sept. 2009, in
                                                                  which they honored Chris for his induction
                                                                  into the College Football Hall of Fame. 
                                                                 Stefanie would pass two months later.

Like Chris, I pace back-and-forth behind the Coach, asking Him to play me. But right now, I'm still learning the plays, still working out the strategies. I'm still learning to trust God so I can do His work for His glory and not my own. He's waiting until I can run onto the field not as myself, but as Christ through me.

                    And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are
                    being transformed  into His image with ever-increasing glory, which
                    comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
                                                                 -- 2 Corinthians 3:18 (NIV)

There were many personal goals I had set for myself this week and it has been amazing to see God, time and again, shut those things down. Essentially keeping away the distractions, so I can now really focus on this journey to seek His Will. In my mind, I still plan on pursing the Plan, but I'm also leaving my mind open to abandon the Plan, should God choose. Equally, I'm willing to go a different route entirely if called to do so. Waiting, for me, has always been the frustrating, uneasy part of trusting God but this time around, I'm good with it. Instead, I'm enjoying the sweetness of getting to know my Heavenly Father and letting Him direct me accordingly.


If you'd like to contribute to or learn more about Chris's ongoing battle with the disease that claimed his wife, please click on the following link:

http://cancer.osu.edu/waystogive/about/funds/spielman/pages/index.aspx

Baby Steps into Mature Content

There is a mission I strongly believe God is calling me to. Without going into details, I will simply call it the Plan, until the time has come for the big reveal.

I read a daily devotional and have been amazed how many times, over the years, it’s been relevant to a problem I was going through or an encouragement I needed. Similarly, I subscribe to a daily devotional email that, although not as often, possesses the same qualities. Since I’ve been made aware of the Plan nearly two weeks ago, I’ve noticed an interesting string of events with these emails. I will simply list their titles in the order I received them. I’ll elaborate when needed.

                                1). Faith is more than believing: take the next step

                                2). What mistakes or regrets do you need to turn over to God?

                                3). Choose faith over fear

                                4). Jesus says, “Seize the moment.”

                                5). God finishes what He starts

                                6). How to realize your full potential

                                7). How to assess your value

                                8). Let God tell you who you are

                                9). God-sized tasks: launch out in faith

                                10). Be undefeatable: lean on the Lord

That’s a pretty good list and it could be a general set of devotionals that anyone could use at any point in their life’s journey. The beautiful thing about the Bible is that it’s not just a book, it is the Living Word of God. I’ve come to learn that that can mean verses I’ve read many times before can have a completely different and relevant meaning throughout my lifetime and for any situation or need. While I don’t think the author of these devotionals gets up in the morning and purposely sets out to send a tidbit of guidance specifically designed for me, I do believe that God can direct the timing of such things.

Yesterday, when I was desperately seeking the opinion of someone I talked to about the Plan, there was silence. Even after assurances of a reply, I received nothing. Oh, how I was frustrated. Then I received the devotional of the day:

                                11). Stand firm on God’s truth, not another’s opinion

Praise God and His timing! To make it more interesting, the Plan calls for me to get some general and specialized education, as well as some Biblical education. I’ve sent inquiries to the secular schools (a week old now) and also to a few different churches the Plan could have me involved with. Silence! with the exception of the Bible college. 

                  But seek His Kingdom [first] and these things will be given to you as well.

--  Luke 12:31 (NIV)

Over the last couple of years, I’ve done a lot of soul searching and ridding myself of the things God leads me to get rid of. It amazes me how buried and lost some of these things are! Our current series at church has been in I Peter and we’ve been called to reconcile with our past. I thought I’ve done that but God has flooded me with things for which I need to make amends. I took the first step in doing that today.

I had to ask my ex-wife to forgive me for not being the spiritual leader she had repeatedly asked me to be while we were married. I didn’t fully understand what that meant -- or didn’t care at the time. I told her that, realizing people make their own decisions, I can see the consequences of my inaction (through our kids) and although I’m no longer responsible for her spiritual well-being, I believe I’m still accountable for the time I was and pray she will continue to pursue God in her life. It was a hard thing to do, for sure, but God was there. He gave me the strength and I’m glad He was! I’m sure it was something she needed to hear in some way or another, but it also felt good for me to expunge it from my record – even though I had previously felt no remorse for, nor given thought to it before.

The statement was made recently in our small group that each of us [there] had at least one person in our life that could walk through the door and we, because of our history with them, would easily and instantly be angry with them. After thinking about that, I asserted that I, in fact, had no one with whom I could be angry in such a way.

Truth of it is, I could be that person to walk through someone else’s door. Many someone else’s. Those, I’m afraid, will be the coming steps in seeking God’s direction in my life.

A Journey Begins...

Can you imagine taking 40 years to prepare for a hike into the mountains? How absurd! All you need is a sense of origin and destination, to dress appropriately, fill a pack with necessary items based on the length of your hike and there’s not much more to it. After you reach the trail head, you may need to check in at a ranger station, buy a map, peruse that map so you have an overview of what to expect and off you go! I’ve gone on hundreds of hikes and, admittedly, there’s a little more to it than that, but not much. Now, to trek into a place like Mount Everest would be a different matter entirely. For that hike, you’d need a completely different set of equipment. You’d need a complete entry and exit plan, a guide and, depending on your level of skill and experience, you may even need to get some training before you even attempt any of this.

In the book of Exodus, the story unfolds of the Israelite's deliverance from Egypt and their journey to the Promised Land. It’s an epic struggle that spans 40 years and finally concludes in the second chapter of Joshua, just before they cross the River Jordan. This was their destination. In order to understand their origin, we would need to turn back further (Genesis 15), when God made a covenant with Abraham and, thus, set him on the trail he was meant to travel.

                In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.

--  Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)

Referring to my original question, “Can you imagine taking 40 years to prepare for a hike...” one might ask the relevance of the question. After all, the Israelis were hiking for 40 years, they weren’t preparing for it. True! However, this hike was only preparing them for one of far greater significance – one that we, as believers, must all make.

I do not argue and am continually astounded by the historical accuracy of the Bible (after all, it is God’s inerrant Life Plan), so in making the following statement, I’m simply saying (from human wisdom) that history repeats itself, conclusions are drawn, patterns are recognized, etc., etc.

The wondering and waywardness in the desert by the Israelites should be looked upon as a metaphor of our own lives before coming to know Christ. If, for the Israelites, it was simply getting to the Promised Land, camping at the river may have been enough. But God called them to inhabit the land and receive His best for their lives. At this point, some of you may be using the Promised Land as a metaphor for Heaven (which is, after all, our final destination). I’ll discuss that at a later date, but I believe it's a metaphor of true spirituality – our personal relationship with God.

That leaves the River Jordan.   

From Those Holy Fields (pg 72), we find this description of the river:

                Emerging from the Sea of Galilee at a probable depression of six hundred feet below the level of the Mediterranean, it rushes along a narrow fissure of sixty miles in length; but doubling and winding as it goes, its actual course is two hundred miles. . . . No river famous in history is so unproductive and useless.

 Three things come to mind when I read this. First, it nearly mirrors the journey just made by the people encamped at her bank, in regard to wandering. Second, it reflects God’s recorded choices to use those who, by the world’s standard, are deemed unproductive and useless. Third, it's the river that Christ, Himself, was baptized in by John. At the time of this writing, I have to evidence to support this, but based on the accuracy and foretold details of Biblical prophecies, it wouldn't surprise me to learn that He was baptized in the very place the Israelites crossed originally.

To me (and I stress me), the River Jordan epitomizes the barrier between our worldly lives and our Christian lives. Here, on its banks, we lay our past at Jesus’ feet. We acknowledge that we are insufficient by ourselves; that we cannot save ourselves; that nothing we have done or can do, apart from God’s grace, can or will save us. Our sins, our regrets, our pain...we leave it all on the bank, at Jesus’ feet.

Another description of the River Jordan comes from Picturesque Palestine, vol. 1 (pgs. 165-65):

[C]lose to the river’s bank we descend fifty-five feet into a dense thicket of tamarisk, silver poplar, willows, terabit, and many other trees strange to European eyes, with a dense and impenetrable undergrowth of reed and all sorts of aquatic brushwood. This is perforated in all directions by the runs of wild boars, which literally swarm here, while the branches are vocal with myriads of birds—nightingales, bulbuls, and especially turtle-doves—which meet here and find abundant food in the herbage of the trefoil, astragals, and other characteristic plants of the higher plain. In ancient times beasts more formidable than the wild boar had their lair in these coverts, and when driven out by the periodical swellings of Jordan the lion and the leopard sought their prey among the flocks of the villagers in the country above. The leopard still lingers in these thickets, and an observant traveler cannot explore far without coming on its traces, especially on the east bank. But the lion, though not extinct in the times of the Crusades, has long been exterminated from the region west of the Euphrates. 

 It doesn’t sound like an easy river to cross, and it’s not. But please don’t mistake the metaphor. Crossing the Jordan isn’t simply putting away the old self. Once we invite Christ into our lives, Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 5:17 that, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here! (NIV)

Crossing the river symbolizes ridding ourselves of ritual, of keeping score with the hope that our good deeds outweigh the bad ones in the end. It is learning to develop a personal relationship with God in order to discover His purpose for our lives and, thus, enabling us to allow Christ Jesus to live through us (the Promised Land).  If history has taught us anything, it is that anything can be done "in the name of Christ" (the Crusades come to mind here, but there are many positive examples, too).  That doesn’t mean we’re always doing what God wants us to. It is for this reason that I’ve set out on a journey of my own.

And it starts with seeking God...first.

 This is my personal journey and I invite you to come along because, like the parable of the bags of gold (Matthew 25:14-38), it would be wrong for me to bury this treasure and not share or invest it. I’m a human being, which means that although I was created in the Image of God, I live in a fallen world and am therefore prone to making mistakes. That’s perfectly okay as long as I learn from them. I implore you, please leave any feedback you feel led to contribute, but I’ll warn you now that, after seeking the opinions of trusted, faithful and godly men, God has made it clear to me that I need to seek Him, alone (I’ll explain that in my next post). I simply want to share what He says so that you may be blessed by it also. More importantly, I pray that my journey will inspire you to start one of your own!

So c’mon...let’s get our feet wet!